Lying Socialist Weasels

Breaking: Pope offers to annul Bush presidency

In an effort to absolve George Bush of his failures as the Leader of the Free World, Pope Benedict XVI has graciously offered to annul his presidency, sources now confirm.

Asked about the offer, Bush simply said that he thought the offer was a fair one.  "I was young and didn't think the whole thing through", he was quoted as saying.  "I'd like to think we can all get a second chance."

Bush denies seeking the annulment, despite earlier rumors to the contrary.

Reactions were decidedly mixed.

"I'm all for it", GOP presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain said.  "Sometimes, relationships don't work out, and the best thing you can do is try again with someone else.  I'm glad the Pope thinks Mr. Bush should have the slate wiped clean".  It was unclear with who "else" McCain thought Bush would "try again".

Others weren't so sanguine.

"What about us?"  former House Majority Leader Denny Hastert complained.  "We put in the time, we did what we were supposed to do, and now we're to act as though none of it counted?  none of it was real?"

A Catholic housewife and mother of 2 in Lansing, Michigan summed up the reaction on the street.  "It's the first annulment I could get behind", she said.  "especially if it means we can have the last eight years back."

Oil Company Executive Tell Congress to Stick It

On the day after April Fools Day, 2008, oil company executives came before the U. S. Congress and basically told the American people that they had better get used to being gouged at the gasoline pump because the energy giants had no intention of giving up their record profits no matter how much havoc it caused in the economy.

When pressed on their obscene and excessive profits during a time of economic downturn the highly paid oil pimps replied that their screwing of the American people was no more severe than the screwing being administered by other corporate pirates doing business in the U.S.

They then demanded the right to drill where ever they pleased and ordered the Congress to keep handing them billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies.

It is evident from this behavior that these GOP fat cats have no intention of taking their foot off the necks of the American people, no matter what the cost to the average citizen.

It is time to pull these corporate felons back before Congress, put them under oath and explain to them that they are not the Robber Barons from the late 19th century.

Of course, that would require a Democratically controlled Congress that is not in the pay of these multi-national criminals.

Who in the Democratic Congressional delegation has the balls?

   --Volt--