PCTC Right Wing Fart Machine Case Study: Who's Pissing on Jesus?

Do you know why so many right wing leaders like to show outrage at the stupidest things? It’s because they know they’ll get the masses inflamed enough to send them a bunch of money.  That's all. It's all about the money. Does anyone believe Sarah Palin was actually offended when David Letterman made fun of her weeks ago? Did she really think Letterman was talking about her younger daughter?

Of course she didn’t.  But the fact of the matter is, the Republican “base” is made up of the stupidest, most gullible morons in the country, and they can always be counted upon tocough up a few dollars to support anything that fires them up. Forget jobs and fixing the economy; it's sex and "dirty" body parts that make for the best money trail.

It is this knowledge that keeps the Right Wing Fart Machine greased and running.  While the Republican “base” has a lot of phony passion and fake moral outrage, they have absolutely no sense of humor.  And I mean none, folks. Have you ever noticed what the right wing laughs at? Everything they find “humorous” involved cruelty and/or death. They just absolutely love death. And they never actually laugh in a way that demonstrates joy, like the rest of us; every right wing laugh is far more sardonic than anything.

But they don’t get actual humor at all. And why would they? The best humor involves truth, and they don't care much for facts. And if the humor involves anything they decide is somewhat “sacred,” they’ll never laugh. If Limbaugh makes the crack like "Have you ever noticed how all newspaper composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?" (Newsday interview, 10/08/1990) and that is just funny as all get out. But dare to make fun of Limbaugh’s weight or his drug addiction, and they’ll get offended and scream at you like a stuck pig.

The Right Wing Fart Machine loves this, because it assures them of a steady stream of income, and nothing is more important to them than money. Consider this; the reason many right wing books become “best sellers” is because any of a number of right wing  morons, instead of heading to a bookstore to buy a book for $20, they’d rather pay $40-60 for a “membership” in some “group” to get a copy, um, “free.” (I told you they weren’t all that bright.)

Well, the latest “moral outrage” comes courtesy of one of the greatest Right Wing Farters of all time, Bill  Donohue. This guy is a piece of work. He likes to portray himself as something of a super Catholic, but all he ever seems to complain about are things that “offend” his phony “Catholic” sensibilities. He can be counted on to lambaste Bill Maher for being "anti-Catholic," despite the fact that Maher goes after all religion equally, and merely says it's silly. And he's right; Americans really have to figure out that religion and God are two separate things, and that most of the things people are told about God are not about God are just about men trying to control other people. If prayer makes you feel better, good for you; but prayer is not religion. Religion is about the rules and regulations that men make up to try to control your behavior, to get you to comport with their vision of what is "right."

There I go, digressing again; this is about the Right Wing Fart Machine, and how it manipulates the Republican "base." And how Bill Donohue uses these ignorant minions to raise money. And his latest target is Larry David.

I don’t know how many of you watch the HBO show, “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” but the show is a masterpiece; one of the funniest shows on television. The entire show makes fun of the main character, who is an alternate version of Larry David (someone I know who knows Larry David assures me that the character is entirely fictional), and the things that happen to him throughout an “average” day.

This past Sunday, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” featured a very funny segment featuring urine and a picture of Jesus Christ.  Here’s the scene, at least until the honchos at HBO take it down, anyway:

 Now, I’ll let Bill Donohue tell you about it:

Mention Larry David in a word association game and “Seinfeld” rolls off the lips. That show, which David created, wrote and produced, was brilliant. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is not. Indeed, last night’s episode demonstrates that David’s best years are behind him. He ought to quit while he’s ahead.   

At one point in the show, David goes to the bathroom in a Catholic home and splatters urine on a picture of Jesus; he doesn’t clean it off. Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer. When David and Jerry Seinfeld (playing himself) are asked if they ever experienced a miracle, David answers, “every erection is a miracle.” That’s what passes for creativity these days.  

Was Larry David always this crude? Would he think it comedic if someone urinated on a picture of his mother? This might be fun to watch, but since HBO only likes to dump on Catholics (it was just a couple of weeks ago that Sarah Silverman insulted Catholics on “Real Time with Bill Maher”), and David is Jewish, we’ll never know.  

I’m surprised. Donohue actually described it somewhat accurately, although he left out a few details out. He usually has a tendency to make things up. Apparently, he figured the wingnuts – most of whom actually usually consider Donohue’s religion to be a “cult” – would be sufficiently pumped up by the uses of the words “urine” and “Jesus” within the same several paragraphs, thus invoking flashbacks of Robert Mapplethorpe exhibits. He knows that almost none of his idiot minions have HBO, and have never seen the episode, because the humor in “Curb Your Enthusiasm” actually requires brain cells to figure out.

 

Once more: as you can see, the scene involves Larry David’s character, Larry David (again; he’s not really playing himself) as he relieves himself in a bathroom, in which a Catholic woman has hung a painting of Jesus next to the toilet. David’s taken some medication that makes him pee with more force than usual, and as he goes, the painting of Jesus is splashed with a few drops. Now, keep in mind that he’s going in a toilet with water in it. Therefore, it’s not even likely that most of the liquid backsplash that makes it to the picture is even urine. The woman comes in, and suggests that the water, which looks to be coming from Jesus’ eye, is a miracle.

 

Jesus Himself would probably laugh his ass of at CYO, and wag His finger at Donohue in a moment. But check out the Right Wing Fart Machine’s dissemination of this information, shall we?

 

Of course, we’ll start with Fox News. You know how they’re trying really hard to convince us they actually really are a news organization? Well, check out their “fact checking” on this story:

 

Larry David Blasted for 'Curb' Episode Where He Urinates on Jesus Painting

Comedian Larry David is under attack from critics who say he pushed the mocking of religion and Christian belief in miracles over the edge in the latest episode of his HBO series "Curb Your Enthusiasm," which the cable network defended as "playful." 

On the show's most recent installment, which aired Sunday, David urinates on a painting of Jesus Christ, causing a woman to believe the painting depicts Jesus crying.

Larry David did NOT urinate on anything except the water in a toilet. Therefore, the premise at the heart of this “story” is absolutely false. And given that most Fox News viewers probably don’t pay for HBO, and never saw the episode, you can only imagine what images “urinates on a painting of Jesus” conjures up in wingnuts’ minds.

 

This is from Newsbusters. Note how the headline doesn’t even match the content of the article, which gives a relatively accurate description:

'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus

By Noel Sheppard | October 28, 2009 - 00:58

HBO's hit series "Curb Your Enthusiasm" has pushed the comedic envelope for many years, but what happened in Sunday's episode was so disgraceful it's already received comment from the Catholic League's Bill Donohue.

The set-up is the show's star and producer Larry David is taking some medication that is making him urinate quite forcefully.

It's so powerful that while urinating in his assistant's bathroom, he accidentally splashed some of it on a picture of Jesus Christ hanging on a nearby wall.

 

This is how Associated Content, a right wing “news” source, described it:

Larry David Pees on Picture of Christ. Another Comic Goes Christian Bashing

Larry David has seen some high times in his life. Seinfeld comes to mind. But it's been a long run since then. Nothing near as popular as Seinfeld has come from Larry David in recent years. Mr. David may have reached a new low. On his show "Curb your Enthusiasm" he is depicted taking a pee with a forceful stream, shall we say.

 

A picture of Jesus is hanging nearby that gets splashed by urine. He stares at it and leaves it. Next to use the potty room is a young gal who sees the pee on Jesus' face and thinks she's seen a miracle. A lot of laughs so far? Peeing on a picture of Jesus..not funny Larry David. Not funny.

 

 

Note that first, the author describes it accurately, and then contradicts herself, by claiming that he peed on a picture of Jesus.

 

You get the idea; the entire Right Wing Fart Machine has run with this, and almost all of them falsely claim that Larry David pissed on a picture of Jesus. In all fairness, The Daily Kos and The Huffington Post wrote the same sort of headline. But everyone cites Donohue’s outrage in their piece. How does a guy like this become so powerful? The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights (their full name, though if seems to do almost nothing for Religious and Civil Rights) is in no way affiliated with the Catholic Church, and while a smattering of Catholic higher-ups in the New York Archdiocese (where the Catholic League is located) are friendly to him, an awful lot of Catholics have denounced his group as a “bully” who is actually somewhat anti-Catholic in its approach. And lest you think they represent Catholics, if not the Catholic Church itself, consider this; their total membership is 233,000 as of 1999, and they haven’t released membership figures since then, so it’s unlikely it’s gone up. That’s out of a population of 70 million Catholics in the United States. Gee, it kind of sounds like Fox News' brags about how incredibly popular it is, because it draws 1-2 million viewers during prime time, out of a population of 300 million, huh?

 

No, Donohue picks and chooses his targets carefully, and only chooses those aspects of every situation that he knows are likely to rile up the Republican “base.” He ignores many other aspects of the situation in question. For example, why would a “devout Catholic” hang a painting of Christ over a toilet in the first place? “Devout Catholics” would tend to believe that jesus could see them; surely such a “Devout Catholic” would never place “Jesus” there, so that he could watch everyone do their business. Also, notice that Donohue refers to the woman as “stupid.” Yet, nary a peep when people were seeing Jesus’ and Mary’s face on a variety of items and selling them on eBay for a profit.

 

No, it’s almost the end of 2009, and Donohue’s donations are probably off due to the bad economy, so he’s been looking for something to hang his hat on, that might result in extra donations. And he knows the Right Wing Fart Machine will help him, because they’re losing on everything else; what better way to get the right riled up than the image of a “Hollywood Liberal” pissing on Jesus Christ?

 

And who cares if that’s not what happened?

 

Somewhere, Jesus is weeping.